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Mixed Feelings….

Today was a series of ups and downs at rehearsal. I’m sure much of it had to do with my regularly scheduled 4 am wake-up call, which makes me a little punky to begin with, but I was getting a little teary.

Things like just getting used to and even enjoying the sexy garters and shorts and such, but HATING how much less pretty my legs are than the other girls (don’t say it- it’s an obvious truth.) Hating my “opposite of flat” tummy, even though it’s my own damn fault I have it. Trying to think of myself as lovely and curvy, and failing. Loving and trying on amazing costumes, but everything is too small and/or having to be made for me instead of just …..working.  Now I’m not saying I won’t look and feel great as we go along….most days I’m fine….but today was not one of those days.

The high notes of the day- getting almost all of the steps of the dances pretty well, not thinking about them, and feeling my character. I’ve been enjoying that for a while now, but now I’m sinking into it like a comfy chair. Hoping it shows in my face too. Getting the set changes and transitions smoothly organized was sweet too. Our voices were great. This cast is stupendous. Oh, and I also enjoyed Michael’s ‘liberal’ use of his newly acquired riding crop-perhaps a little TOO much 😉

I am looking back at the great stage experiences I’ve been allowed to have, and thinking this one is right up there- so challenging, but something I can show the pictures of to people in my nursing home when I’m 90, and say “And here I am in Cabaret as a Kitkat girl….I told you I was young and beautiful ….)


About kitkathelga

36 years old, and a coffee shop manager for a long time- but the love of theatre keeps me from going crazy. My town has a magnificent community theatre company that keeps letting me play onstage for some reason. I'm getting married for the first time next year to the most wonderful man, and I have a 16 year old daughter and an 11 year old son (yes I did everything backwards, I know.)

2 responses to “Mixed Feelings….

  1. Lisa ⋅

    and when I bring you your opening number burlesque outfit you are going to forget that you even posted this blog entry about your body…. as a costumer I love the shape of your body. ( as a side note… the piece we are altering was made for a 15 year old not a voluptuous WOMAN. ) It is not how fancy the packaging is but how awesome the gift is.

  2. Heather ⋅

    Um, have you looked at YOUR bodacious tatas lately? And talk to the rest of the girls – I can guarantee that they, too, have insecurities about different parts of their bodies. This is really one of those moments where you need to see yourself through our eyes, and see the woman whose decolletage invites one to lay their head upon it!!

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